life aint that sweet, really

23rd November 2009

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im missing you. when im on the comp, i’ll feel better,but once i leave the comp, a huge feeling of sadness engulfs me, making me so hard to breathe like as tho im having difficulties breathing.

i hate you for doing this to me.

u are evil.

yet, i miss you so fucking much.

u heard that?

SO FUCKING MUCH.

change please :(

22nd November 2009

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i wont deny i am very hurt. very hurt.

i wont deny i am sad, depressed, broken hearted.

i wont deny that i still love you.

but i cant love you anymore.

My heart is so heavy right now.

But i’ve still not broken down yet. I wonder when will that be.

Im trying very very hard to stay strong even though im physically and mentally and spiritually weak.

I’m sure you are enjoying yourself in schl now, and i wont txt you today.

im gonna promise to myself that i wont text you anymore.

22nd November 2009

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oh my god

im trying to be strong.

knock you down is on MTV.

omg.

help :’(

22nd November 2009

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remember this day? Our valentine’s day. I was very happy on that day.

Veryvery happy :(

im afraid this is the end now huh. No more patching up? :(

I have to let you go. You hve to let me go. We have to let go.

I am so sad right now. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay.

I’ve decided to go ahead with what my parents want me to do.

Im sorry. Im sorry you fell in love with the wrong girl in the first place.

Im sorry if I talked to other guys when we’re attached.

Im sorry if i always stopped you from playiing soccer.

Im sorry if i get upset if you want to meet your friends.

Im sorry you gotta spend so much on my bday, in the end we have to break up.

Im sorry i can’t be ther for ur bday :( im not going to be ther :(

im sure there are better ones at there for you, and Azlan I wish you the best.

You dissapointed me, don’t ever dissapoint your mum.

That’s what I learn, dun ever dissapoint your mum.

Im not going to schl today, im on MTV, and the songs they are playing are not helping.

I feel so weak, hoping that you are with me. Hoping that I can hear to your voice anytime I want to, but thats no more possible.

I can’t believe we’re breaking up, but you know that if you love me, we don’t even have to break up and face this hardship.

im so fucking goddamn pisssed of and dissapointed in you, i thought you would’nt ever hurt me, guess I’m really wrong. You are hurting me so badly right now :(

:’( sigh.

21st November 2009

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its 22 November 2009, so HAPPY 11 MTHSARY TO YOU BB!! :)

yes, we both forgot about it, and i rmmbered it (cos luckily i looked at the time). haha

but yea, actually im commentless uh.

Like, after all this while, if i were to say smthg, i won’t stop.So I’ll just talk briefly.

All those 11 mths we’ve been through ALOT. Dun ever dare say that my rship with you is nothing, cos I know that we’ve been through ALOT.

We fight, broke apart, got back together and still strive all this while. I have never stopped loving you in any part of my life, and im sure it will still go on that way.

There are times when I feel like we are not meant to be together, but my heart feels a different way. My heart feels that you are the right one for me, so baby let it be true.

I feel so strongly towards you, it hurts to even let go for an hour.

I really hope u appreciate our rship more now. Because its just too beautiful to let it just go away.

Even after 11 mths, I still daydream about ur dreamy smile. Your eyes, it just make me so safe and happy.

And ur hands, urgh. U knw, when we held hands, i feel so comfortable being with you, so secure.

I don’t ever want any of this to stop.

and your mum. hahaha. i love your mum. i just love your mum. i wish she’ll be my mum :)

there are 1001 reasons as to why Im still with you, sticking by you through tick and thin, and If i were to say it here, it wont end.

There are times when i say this and that, hurting your feelings. YOU SHOULD KNW THAT, i’m very happy with you. Don’t you dare leave me bcos you are my life

<3